Brilliant Biggles: Needs A Smoke

A snippet from Biggles and the Gun Runners. Biggles is down in the Sudd, hasn't eaten much for the past day except for some buffalo, is standing next to a plane that carried guns, is in danger of being shot by the local authorities (or by a chap who flatters himself that he is the local authority anyway), has a wounded man on his hands, and has just helped dig out a plane belonging to a pilot of the local air force.

To cut a long story short, the pilot promises to fly off and bring food and help for Biggles. As he prepares to leave, Biggles says:

"Before you go, have you any cigarettes on you?"

Not "Any chocolate or food in your plane?" or "Do you have any first aid supplies?" or even something along the lines of, "Can I borrow a gun?". Just, "I NEED CIGARETTES!"

Biggles, Biggles. You really need to watch your smoking. The previous chapters before this have mentioned "lighting one of his few remaining cigarettes" and other similar sentences of chilling peril.

I wish the pilot had said no. It would have been so interesting to see what Biggles would have done...

Brilliant Biggles: Suicide Hotline

Another snippet from Biggles Flies Again. Biggles and Algy have encountered a sobbing lady who is sad because she is about to be married off to someone known as "Don Pedro da Alligante", who she apparently hates.

Having given our airmen this information, the girl declares,

"But I will not [marry him]; I will die by my own hand first," she whispered fiercely. 

And what does brilliant Biggles, master of the suicide hotline, say?

"Oh, don't do that," replied Biggles awkwardly. 

Biggles. What a brilliant and completely-not-helpful thing to say! He promptly follows this up with:

"What can we do about it, anyway?"

Oh, Biggles, Biggles. *Face palm*. No wonder you told Algy sobbing women were more in his line. See how Algy deals with the situation:

"You shall come with me, senorita," declared Algy. "I--"

To which Biggles hurriedly cuts in with:

"Not so fast, laddie, not so fast," broke in Biggles, and then to the girl: "Why not run away? I mean, there are horses and railways and things?"

So many things wrong with this reaction. First, the implication that it is okay to run away from something one doesn't want to deal with; second, the not-my-problem attitude (so unlike our boy!) of inviting a young girl to run away on horses and railways "and things" (clearly Biggles has never run away in his life; he lacks experience); and third, how is Algy ever going to have any sort of romance in his life if he can't help out damsels in distress or flirt with a president's daughter every once in a while?

Boastful Biggles: WWI

Most eighteen-year-olds tend to be a bit full of themselves, and it appears that Biggles is no exception:

"'Mac was just talking about narrow escapes,' replied Mahoney.
'Narrow escapes? What are they?' asked Biggles curiously.
'Why, don't you have any?' inquired Algy Lacey, who had joined the squadron not long before.
'It depends on what you call "narrow",' Biggles replied."

--Biggles of 266

Really, Biggles! Pride does tend to go before a fall, you know!

Of course, as Biggles himself once said, as long as you escape, there's nothing to worry about, and if you don't escape, well, then you can't worry about much anyway, so why bother?

Brilliant Bertie: Chased By A Tiger

More from the Algy-and-Bertie-packed Works It Out. Here is Bertie sharing a recurring nightmare he had as a child with Biggles, Algy, and Ginger:

"When I was a kid I used to dream a tiger was after me. There I was, all alone, no gun, nowhere to go, not even a bally tree to climb, with the horrid brute, all teeth and hair, getting closer and closer till I could feel its hot breath on my--"
"Okay--okay," broke in Biggles impatiently. "What are you trying to do--give yourself a nervous breakdown? I gather it never caught you?"
"Not quite. I always woke up just in time."
Biggles sighed. "What a pity."

--Biggles Works It Out

Really, Biggles! You're getting to be as rude as Ginger!  I love Bertie's description of his dream, though.

Brilliant Biggles: Humor In WWI

“Biggles Finds His Feet” (from Biggles, Pioneer Air Fighter) shows Biggles in rare good humor: despite having landed in no man’s land due to engine trouble, he’s not too bothered about it while exchanging banter with a wounded Tommy:

"‘What did you want to land ‘ere for? Ain’t it bad enough upstairs?’ snorted the Tommy. ‘Life won’t be worth livin’ ‘ere in ‘arf a minute, when they start puttin’ the kybosh on your aeroplane.’
‘I didn’t land here because I was pining to see you, so don’t get that idea,’ grinned Biggles. ‘Where are we—that’s what I want to know.’
‘About in the middle, I should think,’ growled the Tommy.
‘Middle of what?’ asked Biggles.
‘The war, of course!’ was the reply.”

--Biggles, Pioneer Air Fighter

Brilliant Biggles: A Lady At The Door

I realize this is an Algy blog, but we really can’t not discuss Biggles, who is, of course, Algy’s best friend and flying partner. From this week on, I’ll be running a “Brilliant Biggles Bits” section each Monday, which will contain lovely Biggles moments taken from the books. Also starting this week, the “Algy Quote of the Week” section, which used to run on Friday, will be changed to the “Amazing Algy Moments” section, as this will allow me to more accurately document the amazingness of our hero.

Biggles and Co.
Image links to Amazon

Anyway, with all the discussion we’ve been having about Biggles and women, it seemed appropriate to post up this snippet from Biggles & Co.:

“[The door] was opened to admit Mrs. Symes, the housekeeper. ‘There’s a lady to see you, sir,’ she said.
‘A lady!’ Biggles frowned. ‘What sort of a lady?’
‘Oh, quite a lady, sir.’
‘But I don’t know any ladies. She must have come to the wrong house.’
‘Oh, no, sir. She asked for you personally.’
‘What is her name?’
‘She didn’t give her name.’
‘Oh, come on, Biggles, you can’t keep a lady waiting,’ protested Algy.
‘No, I suppose not,’ agreed Biggles awkwardly. ‘All right, Mrs. Symes, ask her to come in. And don’t stare at the door as if you’d never seen a lady before,’ he added, turning to the others.”

--Biggles & Co.

Well! All I can say is, if I ever get the urge to visit the Mount Street flat, I’d be better off asking for Algy! Biggles is so quick to distance himself from members of the fairer sex—“I don’t know any ladies”, while only Algy the eternally charming realizes that it’s rude to keep a girl waiting on the doorstep (from where she can presumably hear most of what’s going on upstairs anyway).